![]() ![]() This is the shortest stage, and often doesn’t last more than 15 minutes before hell breaks loose. And it shows that some stans are capable of engaging in healthy conversation about Bey. This stage can be productive because it can have some intelligent conversation. It’s quite impressive for one to store so much info about someone else in their brainspace. They’ll also tell you that this is especially brilliant because it draws from *random pop culture reference here*. They’ll tell you what keys she was singing the first verse in and how she changed it in verse 2 effortlessly. It’s where some stans, who follow her CLOSELY will break it down to you why it was so good. Meanwhile, stans aren’t trying to hear anything besides “IT WAS EVERYTHING AND LIFE AND YOU WILL GAGGGG.”įolks will talk about the musicality of the song, whether the picture was photoshopped or if the gap between her thighs really exist and anything else. Some people really talk about it from a grounded place, saying what parts were solid, what could have been done better and all that. This is when people talk about how good or bad Beyonce’s new picture/burp/song is. Stage 4: Debates on quality of Beyonce’s latest whatever They are so sincere about their wacky theories that you just know they have to trip on air because they’re so foolish. Or if you slow down the track, you’ll hear her saying 666 in the lost language of NAWLLatin. ![]() Or that smirk she has is to her fellow evil illuminati members. They’ll tell us there’s a triangle reflecting from her eyeball in the picture. Because surely, there’s no way she could be that successful without having sold her soul to someone. *shooting star behind K-list celebrity* Stage 3: Illuminati accusationsĪs stans celebrate, conspiracy theorists and overall dumbasses insist on telling us all that whatever Bey just did is connected to her devil worshipping and further proof that she is a firm member of the Illuminati (or as some of the especially idiotic say “alomunati”). Or some say it’s a mashup for “stalker” and “fans.” The more you know. That’s where the usage of “stans” comes from. Remember that Eminem song “Stan” where he rapped about a crazy fan who was obsessed with him? Yeah. It is declared the “BEST _ EVER.” It’s just a euphoric time for the BeyHive, as they thank Beysus for her goodness and glory.īy the way, the word “stans” is for super fans. The stans who are bloggers have already pressed “publish” on the posts announcing the news and it’s only been out for 43 seconds. I’m sure some are in tears because they can’t express their joy well enough that the aunty/sis/bff they’ve never met just threw something else in their lives. I just picture folks doing collective leyomi drops wherever they are in jubilation that she has blessed them. Stans (the BeyHive) lose their entire minds and spend hours going YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS and WERRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK and SHE DID THATTTTTTTTT. This is immediately following the release of whatever it is that Beyonce did. Stage 2: The BeyHive (her stans) lose their minds OR sometimes, it’s not even anything she does, and someone just mentions her name. Or she’ll drop a song called “Bow Down” telling all the bitches and haters to kiss her ass. Or updates her website with a handwritten note. She’ll post a picture of herself on Instagram meanmugging us all. But sometimes, she goes and does something out of the blue to keep everyone on their toes because she feels like it and can do it. A lot of times, we have previous notice of whatever it is. It doesn’t matter what Beyonce does but when she does it, it starts a cycle of chaos that doesn’t stop until it is exhausted from running its course. Stage 1: Beyonce sneezes, coughs, swings her hair, takes a picture, releases a single, performs Because charts make everything more awesome. Now, I present: Stages of Twitter (or Social Media) Dealing with a Beyonce EventĪnd you know I got a cheap chart to go with it. I brought you the Stages of Twitter Grief of Celebrity Deaths and the Stages of Twitter Celebrity Roast and Wig Snatch. When Beyonce is thrown in the mix, chaos ensues EVERY TIME. Especially the people on Twitter, who are already pre-disposed to senselessness. Every move of hers is clocked and folks act a fool at the sound of her name. Based purely on her numbers and accomplishments and popularity, she is. ![]() Beyoncé is the world’s biggest popstar right now and whether you love her or not, it’s hard to argue this fact.
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